finishing

I have been looking at who visits this blog (which isn't much) and it mostly seems to be coming from a different country.  So, I am moving my favorites lists to a different place on the computer so I can still visit them (which is mostly what I do with this site anyway) and will not be posting anymore.  Perhaps I need to go back to plain old pen and Paper to do my journaling with.

Signing off for now!

Summer preparation

Well, our oldest is almost done with his first year at college.  Probably didn't do a very good job of it.  His ADD makes learning new systems challenging.  He is also struggling with keeping his spending in line (he likes gadgets and going out to eat!).  Anyway, he really didn't save any funds up and is now indicating that he will be moving home for the summer.  That isn't necessarily a problem.  The problem is that his job at the food service on campus is only open during the school year and so he needs employment for the summer.  We have been prodding him to get some applications out for a summer job but he doesn't seem motivated for that.  Then he informed us that he is planning on just doing "odd jobs" this summer!  PROBLEM there!!!  We think that is code word for just being lazy most of the summer while we pay the bills.  Needless to say....I am pretty ticked-off about that!
So, husband and I are going to sit down with him and let him know that if he doesn't have a 20+ hour a week regular job (or combination of regular "odd jobs") then he will need to sign up for some summer classes at the college.  AND possibly go on a summer mission's trip of some sort. 
I think that our son is in for some painful life lessons pretty soon.  This makes me sad but I am definitely praying for him!  Praying that he learns his lessons quickly and without too much pain.  It is hard to watch your child learn to fly! 

Weather???

Is anybody annoyed with the weather this spring?  We have had some summer-like days that required me to drag out shorts & t-shirts.  And now it is back to spring weather with temperatures around freezing at night and long-sleeved weather in the day!  At least there is no snow in the forcast :-)

The nice thing is that garden clean-up is great!  Pleasant days and NO BUGS!!!  I've enjoyed working through the areas that I clean-up last year with extensive weeding and mulching.   This year, those areas are just a quick run through for weeds and ready for action.  However, I am now ready to tackle our west fence line where I really haven't done much work and I know that it is going to be HARD WORK!  I will start with the deep pruning of the forsythia bushes (needed to do that for a couple of years now) and deep cleaning with a paper barrier and mulch on top.  This method keeps the weeds back well and eventually breaks down naturally. 

Mid Life Crisis??

This year I will turn 48!!!  Crazy.  So much closer to the dreaded 50 :-)  Anyway, I am finding this stage of life to be more enduring than ever.  There is definitely this feeling of "I'm just settling" right now.  Part of it has to do with the kids and not trying to upset the flow of things.  This is especially true for Lydia.  She struggles with change and has commented several times that we cannot move or anything until she graduates from high school.  Considering her personality...this is true and we have resigned that we will just stay in this holding pattern for now.  It's a comfortable life but not overly inspiring.  Somehow, I always imagined I would be doing something more "out there".  I think that I would enjoy some short-term missions work but just don't see that happening right now.  So I guess that I'm in a mid-life crisis of sorts.  Wishing I was a couple of years farther down the road but desperately trying to keep my focus on this present moment.  Wishing that we attended a church with a more vibrant life and enthusiam in youth ministry but settling for what we have here and supporting the great pastor we have (and our church doesn't necessarily embrace).  I just need to keep laying these things at the feet of Jesus and TRUST that he will bring me through this part of life! 

Another Idea

Okay....this is not original but it is a good idea for a business.  The idea is Create Something Inspiring.  (CSI)  Focus on the inspiring Part (craft theme...decorating theme....etc).  Try to incorporate a local mission to support with it (Like or Habitat for Humanity chapter).  The business could just open on Saturday and then have a window display the rest of the week of ideas for folks to get inpired from.  Hmmm....still thinking about the business!

more tinkering...

I'm thinking something like "Creation Station" or "Craft Hackers".  Offer a recycled craft source area and then die cuts, accessories, fabric, ribbon etc.  People could bring in their own stuff and use the hardware to assemble a product OR they could visite the recycle area and bag up stuff. Could charge for the new stuff and/or charge by size of project.  IE....like their item would fit in a certain size bag  and price it by size of bag.  Have classes....open for party or clubs to resource together.  Hmmm.....

Further thoughts...

I've decided that I don't want to be the "manufacture" person of a business but rather the person that inspires creativity.  Having beautiful foundations for folks to work from.  Maybe offering "fulfillment" process where I would create something to go with an event they are planning.  Fabric, die-cut services, craft findings, classes for different art forms AND maybe an area to showcase a local artist.   Seems like ideas are starting to come together :-)

New Year

The new year started off with the oldest moving up to campus!  So exciting for him....hope he does well at school with that arrangement.  Enjoyed cleaning up the remains of his room and making the bed in there and actually leaving the door open!  Moved some of hubby's instruments and his "tool boxes" for instrument repair in there as well.  He had been piling those things up in the newly refurbished "study room" (what had previously been his office but really was more of a junk room).  Probably will do a little more cleaning and sorting in there and just leave it alone.  It will be used by him during his off-school time when the dorms close down.  I'm enjoying just looking in there to a nice and neat area!

Husband will be talking with him (during their weekly leadership one-on-one meeting) about him gearing up for some sort of summer employment.  He is assuming that he will be able to work at the summer camp but I'm not getting a good sense from leadership that he will be able to do that.  We want to get him thinking of other options and ideas for the summer months.  Maybe even getting a word in now of his availability to work at Penn with their summer maintenance work.   Just don't want him to sit around the house all summer with nothing to do. 

still thinking...

Maybe a business with hubby with an on-line shop.  Etsy....ebay....amazon...   Need to do some research.  Also stopped by the local craft shop in town.  She does her own crafts/wood items as well as sells parts & pieces.  Anyway, she was working on a dollhouse refurbishing project. I had a nice chat with her and shared some of my ideas with what we did with our little house.  Then she showed me a Victorian kit house she built for someone.  It was lovely!  She says that she does several of these types of houses each year and that people pay her to build them .  So sweet....just really love doll houses at the moment!

Took some time over the weekend to clean up the flat surfaces in my craft area so that when some inspiration hits over the holidays then I can be ready to get at it!  I'm feeling like a quilt or a bag is in order for the week!

Dreaming....

I keep dreaming of starting a business.  Just can't get my mind off of it!  I think that a fabric store/paper/stamping business would be awesome.  Sometimes I just daydream about a business name and what it would look like.  Hmmm...probably need to talk with an area quiltshop owner to see how to start something.  I would probably have more than just quilting stuff especially since the local WalMart downsized its fabric department. 

Do I have faith to step out in a venture like this? Hmmm....

christmas prep

It is another year almost done!  Our tree is up and decorated and have added some socks on the fireplace mantel.  I am looking forward to doing some stocking stuffers this year (thankfully they are small stockings to fill!).  Now it is the waiting game of seeing how much of a christmas $$$ gift we get from the pastors association and from my job at the church as the janitor.  I also have some funds to collect from our health insurance savings account.  It is always tight for the holidays especially when we add in gifts for husbands family.  Our little bit just doesn't stretch far so that means some creativity!!!  I think that next year we will be cutting down on gifts to Elias (now that he is a college student).  My folks starting switching gift amounts at that time and I know that husbands family usually just gives him money.  But for this year....he will get a couple of presents along with some money.

I often wonder if I would enjoy the holiday more if we weren't always so strapped for cash each year.  The last couple of years we were more generous with the kids because of the $$$ from my mom's estate.  We didn't go overboard but it was definitely easier.  This year we are back to strict budgeting as the savings is nearly gone.  Actually I need to refrain from using that "budgeting" word and change it to a "spending plan". 
Anyway....glad that we have never gone overboard with gift giving because it makes the "spending plan" easier :-)

Moving forward

Hurrah!!!  I'm so glad this year is nearly completed.  It has been a stressful long year.  Husband finished up his masters program and graduated in early June.  Son graduated from high school and is at college now.  He will be moving onto campus next semester (a move that I think will be good for all).  Oldest daughter got her driver's license and is now employed.  She is making good decisions about youth group, friends, and school.  Middle daughter is back on meds and is doing pretty O.K. with school.  Working on boosting her skills so she can have opportunities for other classroom setting.  And our youngest is on swimteam this year (along with oldest daughter) and is becoming quite obsessed with reading!  We definitely are NOT a perfect family but seem to live together well.

I've started to workout at the YMCA while the youngest daughter is at swimteam practice.  I'm kinda enjoying it and have lost about 4 pounds since I've started (I'm also trying to eat WAY less food too).  I have a goal of losing another 6 pounds by Christmas.  Still struggling with our church choice.  It is a pretty unmotivated group.  However, I have enjoyed teaching Sunday School and the other regular family's mom is teaching the other class and she is fabulous.  Our middle daughter is in her group and seems to be perking up with wanting to be at church (a welcome change!).  Need to find ways now to get the girls involved in some sort of service missions work.

Feeling pretty broke as we end up this year.  We have pretty much spent through our savings accounts and are now tightening up the belts of our finances.  Having our son not at home should help with the grocery bills and eating out expenses.  Husband got a raise this year but that will all be going to paying off student loans.  Will be cashing in our reward points on the credit cards to supplement our Christmas spending this year.  The kids all enjoy getting a gift card and I enjoy the "free" money!

As always....I'm feeling pretty much in a holding pattern while I wait on God's direction.

education

I have been dwelling on the thought of schooling and education with the kids.  Our 3rd child has special needs and has always gone to a public school for education.  When we transferred the kids to our local district (which is quite a bit bigger that the last school) we have noticed that her grades & development have been slowly declining.  It is really showing now that she is in a "life skills" class.  There really is not the same push for education there but more about learning skills for living.   

I'm struggling with that at this time.  She is just in 7th grade now and I'm thinking that there should be more of a push for academics yet.  SO, after meeting with her neurologist last week and the doctor making a comment about me teaching her, I've been doing some thinking.  Perhaps I could make time in the afternoons (after lunch) for her to come with me for some private "tutoring" time.  Give her more of a nudge...try to get her closer to her peer group.  I have scheduled to meet with her teacher and a representative from the AEA to discuss this option (a dual-enrollment of sorts).  I have to get permission from the AEA because she has what is called an "IEP" (Individual Education Plan).  Our meeting is scheduled for Thursday after lunch. 

If there isn't the option for this than I'm planning on doing some extra work with her in the afternoons.  Not sure what but hopeful that whatever we do will boost her level of learning to the point that the teachers take notice!  It would be amazing for her to jump up in her learning level!  I'm thinking about open-enrollment next year or officially working on dual-enrollment with her.
 Please pray for us!

Paying attention

Had a quick stressful conversation with the husband regarding last night's "Proxy station" prayer vigil regarding modern day slavery.  He commented that the men that took up the station with chained hands and ducktape over their mouths as a representative for those that can't speak as a modern day slave, were harrassed by the black people of the campus.  There was signage right by the white student "proxy" but the black students took offense because they were the ones with slavery in their history.  However, if the black students would have just read the sign and literature provided then they would have grasped what was going on!

Then our son chimed in about serving food at a food service company and young adults would ask "what's on the special" even though there was a sign right in front of them with a description.

What is with our modern coulture?  Are we raising a generation who are unable to capture the details of life?  Are they too distracted/busy to pay attention?  I read a comment regarding today's student body (at colleges) that a professor said.  He said the biggest problem today with students is that they are distracted and addicted.  There is just so much going on with technology that kids are barely staying on task.  AND then they are also struggling with addictions (such as overeating, video games, youtube, drinking, porn....etc).

It's time for us parents to step in a help our kids (as well as others in our sphere of influence) to learn how to pay attention and notice LIFE.  It is certainly a discipline that needs to be taught.

just some thoughts on my mind.....

Life in the "driver's seat"

      This last week I've heard a couple of analogies about life and driving.  This got me thinking through how I'm "driving" lately.  Am I paying attention to the road signs along the way (health, weight, family pressures...etc)?  Am I staying in my lane?  I could go on about this way of thinking but you can get the picture.  The sermon at church last Sunday was about "round-abouts" and other types of road designs. 

      I was especially intrigued by that thought...being on the round-about.  As you know, when you enter the round-about you can only exit by taking a right turn AND to enter you have to merge into the flow of traffic.  We have one of these near our elementary school and it makes it very efficient to approach the school without the headache of the a traffic signal.  Anyway, when thinking about this in regards to life I am challenged by the thought of being in the "holding pattern" of the round-about and then about exiting to the next road.  I know that there is a new road ahead in my life but I don't know what that will be yet nor do I have any inkling as to when it will be. So, in essence, I'm waiting!

   The other analogy that was presented was in regards to looking back while plowing a field (but could be applied to driving).  When we look back in life we tend to make crooked pathways.  It is a natural occurance!  This is especially true when you have a trailer hitched onto your vehicle and you are trying to back into a parking spot....It is very CHALLENGING!  If I'm trying to look back and relive (or regret) a certain era of life....what about my kids and others that are "in tow" right now?  I truly need to be concentrating on THE NOW and driving FORWARD !  If not...then I will be leaving a crooked path for my kids to follow instead of the straight and narrow road of Christianity and responsible adulthood.

    I hope all this makes sense!  AND I hope that you like the new layout of the blog.  I'm hoping to expand what I do here....we will see!

Gentleness

I see that my friend Sonja has returned to blogging!!!! Yeah! I have also been desiring to return to this venue as well. Not sure what I will write about but I'm sure I'll find something. Today was a morning that needed "kind" words to be spoken at our house. I am really trying to concentrate on speaking gently with the kids/girls even when there needs to be correction. This is certainly challenging and goes against my normal response modes!

Lord...help me with my GENTLENESS :-)

Craft Room

Feeling pretty accomplished about getting my craft/sewing place done. Here are some photos of the project. Remember that we began with icky paneling that was painted over and gross flooring. Started by replacing the window and putting some drywall over the paneling.

Got some great carpet squares and just cut and taped them to the floor. We had some icky alligator green covered by "stone" gray vinyl (which was really cold in the winter!). and Now it is a nice brown with some pattern....looks so nice and clean.

Put up some peg board in the corner (not the best job but it works!) and painted. Just need to finish the trim work (so easy to just stop here and leave it). I'm looking forward to getting some projects going this winter!!

I also had to defrost our freezer during this process. I made a mental note to self to not let it go so long between cleanings!!!

The Daily Grind

The last couple of days have felt like I'm trudging through a marsh. I've come through a period of really growing in Christ....getting inspired to pray more and read the Bible more thoughtfully. This part is good! I just read a verse in psalm 119 that talked about the "unfolding" of God's word. That is such a cool thought. How often do we read a scripture and nothing sparks and then suddenly the words "unfold" and a new dimension of Christ comes to light. I LOVE that.

However, the daily grind of living gets to me. I would really like to do something more exciting. An adventure! Most days is like, however, is like moving in slow-motion. Same thing...day in...day out. Husband and I are always dreaming of something different. I think that when he is done with his master's work next spring that if nothing opens up in his job (teaching...pay raise, etc) that we may start to look around more seriously. Perhaps taking campus ministry to a different level....or working with a group like InterVarsity that might include some travel.

Anyway...gotta get back to the job.

compassion practice

Another beautiful day here in the midwest. Today I'm thinking about the outdoor cats that have befriended us (our neighbor takes care of them). They have been an amazing source of pleasure for our girls (the boys don't like cats....although husband doesn't mind them too much). One of the cats, Inky, had gotten an injury on his leg. This has gotten infected and is now getting to a point where he might not make it if it doesn't heal. Anyway, our girls are learning caring skills by loving on the cats (3 of them) and now seeing one who is injured and needs special care. They are all quite concerned for him. I love opportunities for the kids to practice compassion skills....and being concerned for others. Our culture is so concerned for self. I'm becoming more conscientious about finding opportunities for compassion practice!